Week 9
So how is Paris? Colder than last week!
Thursday
Nothing special today except I lifted my seal of no French far too many times. It’s just that it has become so difficult to explain or do the most simple activities if I just speak English. Unfortunately, some of my student’s English is so poor that not speaking French really isn’t an option. ‘Sigh’ it’s a bit depressing considering some of them have been doing English for 5 years or more.
At least I got some entertainment on the journey home; first there was what can only be described as a slap worthy deranged fool dancing like a drunk gazelle at place d’italie. Hopping/skipping from place to place and then going up to random individuals with his hand extended in what I assume was a request for financial appreciation of his disturbing yet, mesmerizing dance. Then the bus journey was also a novel experience, although far less comical:
On the bus home and there was this rather attractive young lady sat next to me. However, she wasn’t there for long as this rather robust lady comes over and stares the girl down so much that she offers her seat. So immediately I didn’t like the woman because robustness is never a replacement for beauty. But more importantly, this woman didn’t qualify for ‘elderly’ category and so she shouldn’t have demanded a seat, she was in late 30’s maybe, tops. However, that’s not the worst part. When she started mumbling to herself like the crazy people you see on the metro late at night, then alarm bells started ringing!! But I just tried to absorb myself into my book and forget about her.
Unfortunately, I happened to look up at this individual when she starts.........picking her nose. Not that disgusting you say? We’ve seen it before etc etc. Yes perhaps with kids etc but, I assure you, NOT TO THIS EXTENT.
First of all, I shouldn’t really say picking as opposed to FORAGING, she was like a deep sea diver with that finger, delving into the furthest recess of the nose, going so far and with such tenacity that I was sure a nose bleed was imminent. Of course I should’ve just looked away, but for the life of me I could not. As disgusting as it was, I was in so much shock, that I could not help but watch...... and yes, I immediately regretted this decision.
The next step of sick city was watching the spoils of that same finger being analysed with beady eyes of doom, before they were thrust into a salivating mouth and devoured with such glee it bordered on madness. So yes I was on the verge of throwing up at this point and things only got worse after the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th journey.
I have no idea how I didn’t manage to lose my lunch, but luckily enough my senses kicked in at the last moment and I spent the rest of the journey with my eyes glued to the FLOOR. For real, that is soooooo disgusting, at that age and all!! Also, if you really, really, must pursue such an unfathomably disgusting habit, then don’t do it in a PUBLIC PLACE where you force others to suffer as well. Clearly someone needs to slap a LIFETIME’s worth of ‘Didn’t your mother ever teach you’ lessons into this not fully evolved human being.
That scarred me for a while and my housemates as well when I told them of my disturbing encounter. Luckily the rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Although, I find that whenever I have lots of time to do X, Y and Z, I end up doing nothing at all and then when I have no time at all, vice versa. I am well aware of this habit of mine and yet I can’t seem to break it, this irritates me greatly.
You’ll be glad to know that I finally shutdown the ACN guy with a text. He’s been bugging and calling me to no end and I have no idea why I was entertaining his nonsense. So I just sent him a text saying, I have no interest in the business, but if you still want to talk, feel free to call. I think you know whether my phone rang or not.
Friday
Woke up pissed because I got a last minute call from one of my colleagues that I have to do a class in the morning. This annoyed me greatly as I generally just do afternoons. My bad moved lasted most of the day and I even turned down a concert offer – poor effort from me I know.
Got a new class though and was worried at the start because they were really rowdy when my colleague was taking the register. It reminded me of my first teaching day when I was walking to the front and the kids all kept shouting out profanities or saying absurd things like ‘I love you’. But things quieted down as soon as he left. At first I just thought it was the students who were being unfair on the teacher but now it’s quite clear....no one in the school, not even other teachers like this particular teacher. One teacher even went so far as to say he reminds her of a serial killer.....some killer vibes indeed.
Saturday
Nothing much, just relaxed. Although my landlord is going overboard on cleaning; she’s had the whole military brat upbringing, dad in army, granddad etc so she’s really militant on simple things and it’s really quite annoying. Also, she seems to find it impossible to distinguish from son and tenant and speaks to us all like we’re her kids which of course drives me up the wall. You imagine another woman apart from your mother or a close relative scolding you in that annoyingly patronising tone you only accept from family and see how well you keep your temper. I felt like EXPLODING with rage – ‘sigh’.
This silly weather is getting out of control as well, as a result I really have no real desire to go anywhere. But, forced myself to go into Paris for dinner and drinks at my friend’s house and ended up having a great night in. Well out, as I went to Paris, but in as we didn’t end up going out anywhere. Just chillaxed, played drinking games, and laughed and joked until about 4 in the morning. Also got introduced to the game ‘psychology’ which is a great game if you’re NOT the guesser. If you don’t know what I’m on about, too bad. For those that do, I know you feel my pain!
Sunday
Really relaxed Sunday, woke up late, went for lunch with the mates who stayed over at my friend’s house and then just hung out watching scrubs and family guy. Watching these shows reminded me of how much I LOVE FAMILY GUY and how much better things are when you do them with company. Although, I did get persuaded to watch the end of scrubs which I regretted because it was pretty emotional and created a rather large and unexpected gaping emotional hole that reminded me that I truly hate being alone. I really can’t wait for Christmas.
Monday
I think Christmas fever is getting to me or I’m just getting tired of teaching because I keep speaking more and more French in classes which is a complete fail! It seems I’ve just given up recently ; or I’ve just had my fill of miming and having to perform silly antics to be understood.
Today I tried a really SIMPLE activity. There were two different sheets A and B, both with images on it, but of the same people doing different things in different clothes. So you get partnered up and have to ask your partner what is X doing and wearing to find out the differences and then note them down. Easy right? NO! It took me 10 minutes to explain in English. Then I gave up and just explained in French. Only for me to walk around and find out my students are arguing about what X is doing and wearing, not having understood THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT SHEETS. I just felt like storming out of the class I was so annoyed.
Didn’t appreciated being interrogated when I got home about why my rent payment hadn’t gone through yet – I explained I programmed it for the 5th (day it’s expected). Only to find out that transfers take 48 hours in France. But yes, I’m still to blame although I had no idea!!!? At least I had a lot of energy and rage for the gym!!!!
Tuesday
Work was same old, same old. Not much time to spare when I got home as I left quite quickly to go to the 5th to meet up with my friend for Birthday meal and drinks. Was great to see him again and just hang out talking and reminiscing about life pre France. Went to a bar afterwards and everything was all good until we got pestered by this annoying American.
Not only was her voice abrasive and irritating, but she just really couldn’t take athe hint that no one wanted her presence and she should be on her way. No no no, she kept hovering around like those flies you want to swat.
I mean when you ask people what are you in France for and they reply ‘To Drink’, in the most monotonous, un-conversational voice known to man, then you should just take a hint. Or if people start introducing themselves as Chatos and Ophelia, and other names straight out of the Odyssey and Shakespeare, then you really are a fool not to take the hint. This lady was. Although it was pretty amusing at the same time I must admit.
Unfortunately I had another ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE trying to get home and I blame it all on my friend. He made me wait another 10 minutes because I just HAD to meet this SEXY friend of his. So I waited and when she came......she was meh. Hot yes, worth the drama I suffered because of those ten minutes? NO WAY IN HELL.
First of all dashed to get the metro line 10 and as I was coming out of my changeover place I saw the metro I was supposed to take go past. Only then to have the controleur’s tell me there are no more metro’s and I would have to take a bus. So went to the bus stop feeling unbelievably annoyed and suddenly when the adrenaline had died down....needing the biggest piss of my life. Quickly looked at the board and the bus says it’s coming in 5 minutes. 5 minutes, do I go, do I not, 5 minutes is enough time surely? Yes I’ll go......I really wished I had just stayed and wet myself.
Jogging back feeling so refreshed only to see the bus go past me. So as I know I didn’t have a record breaking 5 minute piss, that means that FLIPPING bus came a few minutes early. So of course I did what any rational man would have done in my position.......raised my head, lifted my hands to the heaven and SCREAMED at the top of my voice!!!!!.....In complete vain of course as well as futile test of lung capacity. Unfortunately this wasn’t the end.
Now I had to wait 30 minutes for the BUS to come. Luckily it wasn’t late but then I did what I promised I would NOT DO. I feel asleep. I woke up God knows where and a 2 hour EPIC walk home AGAIN!!!
Having just relived the moment, I’m too annoyed to explain my theories on what’s up with back. Later.
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